Robot Monk Xian'er

问：老师，一个人总是很在意他人的看法如何是好，明知不必在乎，可是遇事依旧很在意他人眼中的自己，Master, what can I do if I always care too much about others’ opinion? I know there is no need to worry but I’m still concerned with what others think of me.而且总是担心别人对自己有误解，害怕自己的做法伤害他人，回复消息时都要小心翼翼，再三斟酌，这样好心累啊，请老师开导。And I’m always afraid ofbeing misunderstood and fear that what I do may hurt others. So I have to becautious and deliberate before responding to a message. I feel my heart sotired. Could you please give me some advice?     答：如果一个人想要痛苦的过一辈子，那么心向外求是个不错的选择。其实，在意他人的眼光，出发点是为了保护自己，但“向外求肯定”的心态却让这个良好的愿望变成了相反的结果，自己越来越脆弱、胆小、自卑。“众生欲除苦，奈何苦更增”，原因就是不认识真正的苦乐根源。佛法中说，痛苦来自于我执、烦恼、恶业，快乐来自于无我、智慧、善业。If you want to suffer a lifetime, seeking outward is a good choice.In fact, the starting point of caring too much about others’ opinion is to protect oneself, but the mindset of “looking outsidefor affirmation” turns the good intention into the opposite result, makingoneself more vulnerable, timid and self-abased, just as a verse goes, “Sentientbeings want to