Difficult Happens; Effective Communication For Bosses

Have you ever noticed that when you are in a bad mood, jerks and rude behavior really get’s under your skin? Covid 19, a busy work schedule, travel restrictions, and perimenopause have Lara in a Bad Mood. So off to the Gym I go. Moving your body is a great way to blow off some steam, usually… Today at the Gym, my bad mood was exacerbated by Jerks. A jerk who was wearing combat boots and his full workout gear in the steam room, (the rest of us were in swimsuits). A jerk watching  YouTube on her phone loudly… without headphones. I am right next to you trying to read and enjoy my phoned-in workout.  And what in the world is with the Gum? Perfume, leaving weights and towels on the floor, grunting and dropping weights, it’s enough to make Jack Lelaine kick sand in their face (google it - totally worth it). So how do get out of this funk and shake off the rude behavior at the gym? The same way you can when those cringe-worthy behaviors creep into your world. Tune in and check it out. What you’ll hear on today’s epi

Dysfunctional communication, incivility, and bad behavior impact us all. Taking your power back and building strong boundaries is easier than you think. This is why I podcast. To raise awareness of dysfunctional communication styles and how to combat them. To raise awareness of boundary breaches that take your power away from you. To raise awareness of the physical impact that conflict, incivility, and negativity has on you. By some accounts, 89% of Americans were raised in dysfunction which leads to dysfunctional communication styles that end up impacting you every day. This is WHY the Difficult Happens podcast is here, to help you navigate these everyday interactions. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is dysfunction How dysfunction plays in the way we communicate Incivility is on the rise What to  do about bad behavior Everything is a spectrum Bad behavior and negativity Work with Lara Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthap

Summary: “It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them” Mark Twain Gossip, griping, negativity, seems to be everywhere right now. Dysfunctional, passive-aggressive manipulative behavior becomes the norm, not the exception. So what do you do about it? How do you respond when those around you are being a Debbie downer sucking all the joy out of the day? Want to know how to respond to all the negativity, dysfunction and marginal behavior? I’ve got you. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is dysfunction Denial and what it looks like What to do when people are gossiping  When someone seems to by marginal  Everything is a spectrum Bad behavior and negativity Socially dysfunctional Sadness and hurt around you Right fighting Coaching your friends - when and when not to Work with Lara Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie          

Summary: “Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths.” Joseph Campbell I’m rubber your glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you.  This schoolyard taunt trickled into my brain this week when someone was projecting her own stuff onto me. Has this ever happened to you? Someone accuses you of feeling a certain way when you don’t, or assumes you think a certain way when that’s not how you think? Neuroscience reveals that the subconscious mind, which is an information processor one million times more powerful than the conscious mind, is running our behavior 95-99% of the time, your actions and reactions are automatic.  That means that when someone is projecting their shame, anger or fear onto you, they most likely aren’t aware of it. What you’ll hear in this podcast: What is projection What are the different types of projection  What to do when someone is placing judgment on you Why when someone blames you, it’s about them  Social Constructs Social order Conforming How to live with less stress Tunin

Summary: When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!   One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’.  Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp?  One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”   It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.)    There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.   Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.

“When you can be strong alone, you will be stronger together.” It can feel like you have to choose between a successful career and a successful relationship, especially in this modern age where the line between a high functioning person, a real go-getter and a workaholic can get blurred. But you don't have to! Amber Hawley spent most of her career helping high-achieving couples in silicon valley. As a licensed therapist she understands the particular struggles and demands of this modern landscape. For over 20 years she has been helping passionate, striving high achieving couples reconnect and rekindle their relationships and she is here today to share her wisdom.  In today’s episode, we talk about masculine and feminine energy, the line between striving and avoiding, the clues that your relationship may be in trouble and what ONE thing you can do right now to make your relationship better. Join us as we take a look at all this, and how ADHD, perfectionism and high achievement go together. What you’ll hear in

Summary: “Not Making a choice is a choice.” When is the right time to make a change? Change happens in a moment, a moment when the status quo, the way things have always been, becomes intolerable.  Saying yes when you really mean no. When you openly give and they take more. These are the tiny boundary over-reaches that create a crack, a crack that manipulative or selfish people will use to exploit. When a relationship or a pattern of behavior becomes too painful to tolerate, when it hurts to stay where you are, these are the moments that push us to make a drastic change.  This tipping point propels you into action, it emboldens you to make the changes that are right for you. Your Fear takes a back seat and you make the jump. What you’ll hear in this podcast: Where Real Change Happens How a boundary overstep impacts you Why we need a tipping point This far no further The shifting of a mindset Trigger Season A time for re-birth Don’t fall for the shoulda - coulda - woulda spiral Your subconscious and its powe

Summary: “You are a master to the words you don’t say and a slave to the ones you do.” Touchy conversations can be a minefield to navigate, so how do you decide what to say and when to say it?  Sometimes we respond out of habit, without thinking through what we are saying. What we choose to say, and when we choose to say it has everything to do with our experiences, our expectations, and our assumptions. And You know what my Dad used to say about AssUmptions?... In this episode, we take a look at 5 things to STOP saying, and what you should say instead. As a BONUS, I tell you how to turn the conversation around when these words or phrases are being used “AT” you, so you will know what to say when your buttons are pushed. What you’ll hear in this podcast: Stop Shoulding on yourself Always is a word that is Never true - the use of Emphaticals in conversation I hear what you are saying BUT… How the word but is really a dismissal It has always been done this way - and other useless phrases How you hear is just

Summary: “My best successes came on the heels of failures.” ― Barbara Corcoran What makes a Great Leader? Sometimes the greatest leaders that impact our lives are not in the traditional leadership role. Mentors, leaders, those who influence you and your life can come from anywhere. True leadership cannot be taught, it must be practiced. In today’s episode, we take a look at how things have changed for women, how the different generations view leadership and some tough choices that we both made along the way that has impacted our lives. Carol Cox of Speaking your Brand joins me in the podcast studio to talk about influence, leadership, why she chose to take her popular Facebook Group off of the Facebook platform and much more. What you’ll hear in this podcast: Change that you chose, and change that you didn’t Why women in different generations are so different from one another Womens voices need to be heard Is Facebook over? The time of the mega-church mentality is coming to an end Feminism How we lift each

Summary: “You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.” ― Joyce Meyer What do you do about a Jerk? You can’t avoid coming across one. You may even have one in your office, social group or sphere of influence. Jerky behavior is unavoidable and does not discriminate on who it inflicts. Men, women, young and old, jerks come in all shapes and sizes. What makes a jerk a jerk? It’s in their snide reactionary behavior.  They are negative, and often angry and cynical and are looking for an outlet, somewhere to share these negative feelings,  and if you are in their way, like the Eye of Sauron, when a jerk focuses on you and spews their vitriol it’s not pleasant. Don’t let them steal your sunshine, arm yourself with these 3 things you can do when you are dealing with a jerk. What you’ll hear in this podcast: The Jerk The intentional Jerk The unintentional Jerky behavior Why it is about them, not you Are there more jerks now than ever? How negativity creates jerky behavior What three things you can do to pro

“Negative people have a problem for every solution.” ― Albert Einstein It’s the little things that create a weak spot in your boundaries, and this weak spot creates a tear that manipulative people will exploit. Manipulators don’t wear name tags, they hide in plain sight and one person's toxic boss is another persons’ motivating mentor. So how can you tell the difference? In this episode, we explore 5 phrases to be on the lookout for that manipulators use that will cause you to doubt yourself. Toxic people, incivility, bad behavior, tyrants, bully’s, and entitlement. Bad behavior is on the rise. This episode will help you protect yourself. What you’ll hear in this podcast: Is incivility and bad behavior on the rise? Toxic people and how they can hide What to watch out for with a manipulator How manipulators assault your boundaries Why toxic people use these phrases Why are these phrases a warning sign? What your body has to do with it How manipulators assault your self-esteem For a manipulator, it’s all abo

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.” ― Albert Einstein In this year-end episode, Amee Quiriconi of the One Broken Mom Podcast joins me to talk about endings and beginnings.  Change is an inevitability in this world. Sometimes the change is something we choose such as ending a relationship or a job, and sometimes the change is thrust on us, like a relationship ending or losing a job.  When things end, whether we chose the end or not, there is a lot that you can learn about yourself, what you want more of in your life, and what you want less of. Reflection helps you not only see things in a different way but allows you to learn the lesson you need to from a situation.  When you know what you want, you have a clearer direction and can make better choices for your new beginnings! What you’ll hear in this podcast: Change that you chose, and change that you didn’t Change in your personal life & change at work Endings, the gift that

The Away travel brand went from a fast-growing popular brand to the epitome of the new toxic work environment leading to one of the CEO’s & co-founder stepping down. A workplace can become toxic by inches, like a lobster boiling in a pot of water, before you know it the environment has taken it’s toll mentally & physically. In this episode, we take a look at the toxicity that Away’s CEO Steph Korey’s micro-managing created, and the way the companies ‘values’ were used to manipulate its employees into working underpaid hours in difficult conditions.  This is the first case study where we break down the toxic work environment, how it happened, and what could have been done differently. What you’ll hear in this podcast: The Away company was a toxic workplace How the employees were manipulated How Micro-managing impacted the environment How a companies Mission Vision & Values was used against staff The use of SLACK as the only means of communication and how that impacted communication Bullying with a

Summary: It started at a neighborhood wine bar and ended on amazon prime. Your personal values, along with the social norms of the time dictate what you find embarrassing or shameful but those social norms can change with the times, situation and community you are in.   While out at a wine bar with friends I got some unsolicited advice from a stranger. The interaction has stuck with me for several reasons.  In this episode, I share what happened while chatting with some strangers, why it got me thinking about that old playground taunt “I know you are but what am I”, and how you may see things differently when talking with someone from a different context than you.   What you’ll hear in this podcast: What Context is How Context impacts your perception How the values of a group can grow and change over time Why we show people what we value, sometimes through judgment How our word choices can clue you into what we value How the stories we believe about ourselves impact discourse The need to belong & how

Have you ever noticed that procrastination goes hand in hand with pressure? Whether it is the pressure that came first or the procrastination that leads to the pressure, they go hand in hand.   Everyone procrastinates from time to time, it’s perfectly normal. Until it’s a problem. When that procrastination leads to missed opportunities, loss of revenue or worse, it can keep you stuck in the cycle of pressure, procrastination, stress, shame, rinse repeat   Procrastination can be confusing, it has many faces, from the busy work of productive-procrastination to the frozen effect of procrastination paralysis.  If you find yourself stuck or heading into procrastination’ville, I’ve got some tried and true skills to get you unstuck.   What you’ll hear in this podcast: What procrastination looks like How stress affects procrastination The many faces of procrastination What perfectionism has to do with it How stress plays into perfectionism Why some people can handle (are more used to) stress The many faces of procr

Summary: Shorter days, colder nights and seasonal celebrations abound, welcome to trigger-season.   This is the season of gathering & celebrating. There are family functions, social get-togethers, and work parties to attend.   Along with that, there are inevitable assumptions about how everything will turn out and expectations of how we want things to go.   To go into this season prepared we here at Difficult Happens have you covered, in this week’s episode I give you concrete steps that you can take to prepare for and navigate through, this trigger-season.   What you’ll hear in this podcast: How the holidays & weather impact interactions Why winter is “trigger-season” Our conscious & subconscious brains in action Family conversations & expectations The work party a petre dish of awkward conversations The conflict loop What assumptions, judgments, expectations, and reactions have to do with your communication How our family of origin informs our triggers What a triggered reaction is What to

How do you find gratitude when you have a bad attitude?  As whole human beings, we experience a range of emotions every day, some are good, and some we think of as bad. So how do you practice gratitude when you just don’t feel like it, that is the topic of today’s episode. We tell ourselves stories about ourselves to ourselves, about situations and experiences and what those stories mean to us. Those stories become a self-fulfilling prophecy, that by just believing in them, make them true. When you practice gratitude, in whatever way works for you, you will be a happier healthier person. What you’ll hear in this podcast: How the stories we tell ourselves create our reality How to have a clinicians attitude How to reframe to turn your mind How gratitude changes your mood Have to versus get to Work with Lara   Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                              

How to get over it Whether you have experienced a major life blow, like a divorce or a job change, or a more minor slight like a negative comment or angry road incident, it can be hard to move past it. On today’s show, we talk about how to ‘Get over’ tough things and move past them to a place where you can find some peace.  You can’t control the fact that other people’s actions will impact you, but you can control what you do about it. What you’ll hear in this podcast: How you are impacted by others’ actions The difference between fault and responsibility What your reactions mean How you can ‘turn your mind’ about hard things How taking responsibility empowers you What the four agreements are How to use  the four agreements Time frames for moving on, yours and other peoples Work with Lara Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie                                                  

If you are a Perfectionist or have the Disease to Please, your very environment can trigger you. www.difficulthappens.com We have unconscious reactions all day long, ones that we aren’t aware of and yet they impact us in ways that will surprise you. Your subconscious is in control of your actions and reactions 99% of the time so it’s no surprise that it takes a strong reaction or reason to take a mindful look at why we respond in a certain way. Don’t wait for a conflict to identify yours. When you shine the light on triggered reactions, where the ‘action’ of any interaction happens, you can respond with purpose. Break free from the pull of perfectionism join me today and discover how to identify your triggered reactions. What you’ll hear in this podcast: Where ‘difficult’ stuff comes from The trap of perfectionism The disease to please What a triggered reaction is What an environmental trigger is How to identify your environmental triggers Becoming who we were meant to be Don’t ‘should’ on yourself Why my si

Perfectionism is a trap that can keep you frozen in inaction or frenzied in productive procrastination. This perfectionist trap can trigger feelings that lead you down the road to a fight, flight, freeze or appease reaction and start you on that familiar hampster wheel of emotions which impacts the way you feel, act, and react. In today’s episode dive into recognizing one of the things that can trigger you, how you identify it and what you can do about it. Want to break free from this trap? Tune in and get out from under the stress of perfectionism What you’ll hear in this podcast: How perfectionism impacts you What an emotional desire path is What a triggered reaction is How to identify when you have been triggered What an emotional or feeling trigger is How triggered reactions can be positive ones How to identify your triggers How to break free from the stress Work with Lara Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Support@laracurrie.com Corporate Tr