Everybody Hates Rand: A Wheel Of Time Podcast

We took a week off from our usual recording schedule, but never fear: we've still got that sweet, sweet WoT content for you. Sally listens to and reviews Robert Berry's "A Soundtrack for the Wheel of Time," and Emily refuses to believe that someone actually Did That. Listen along on Spotify. Transcript

We're hanging out with the Tinkers this week, and you know what that means: a LONG conversation about sexy dancing. We also wonder about the significance of music in Wheel of Time, weigh in on the passive-aggressive war over Perrin's axe, and worship Egwene: Flirtation Queen. ​ Transcript

We're baaaaack! To Perrin and Egwene, that is. Elyas, a wolf-telepathic wild man they just met, has agreed to guide them to Caemlyn, which isn't sketchy at ALL. In this episode we talk mostly about the Tuatha'an, their real-world parallels, and how they deserve better than being a metaphor in Perrin's inner​ conflict about violence. Transcript

In our second installment of the "Thom and His Backup Dancers: Rand and Mat" saga, we reach Whitebridge! We talk about ancient architecture, the Illian Timeline, and Thom passing on his Bard-en. Oh, and that dream sequence we completely skipped last week.​ Transcript

In this episode we take a minute (or ten) to explain why we hate Rand - though we're also willing to admit he has some good qualities, particularly in this sequence. While Mat goes full Smeagol, we're dealing with pirates, flute-playing, and the epic fantasy tradition of dividing magic and technology. ​ Transcript

We talk more about memes, kinks, and sex toys than we ever will again in this podcast. Hopefully. If you don't think memes, kinks, and sex toys are related to werewolves, think again! So: Is Perrin a furry?​ Transcript

Hey, are you enjoying the dynamics of this here fantasy fellowship? TOO BAD. They're breaking up, just like every boy band ever, and who knows when we'll get the reunion tour? (We do. It'll be in twenty chapters. Buckle in!) Transcript

​Have you ever visited a cursed city? The world is full of 'em, and so is Wheel of Time. They're pretty interesting, and very dangerous, especially for archetypal tricksters like Mat. If you have a habit of picking up shiny things or keeping secrets from your mentor, you might be in trouble too. Transcript

In Episode 4 we talk about our country bumpkins' first time in a city -- well, a "city." There's a lot to learn in Baerlon, about inns, innkeepers, conquering dream logic, and ~The Future.~ Plus, everyone's favorite babysitter is back! Transcript

After a lengthy discussion about "Hatchet" by Gary Paulsen and how it traumatized us, we talk about our heroes' road trip to Baerlon, English long bows, and the importance of taking regular baths. We also realize that Randland is monoreligious, and almost have an aneurysm. Transcript

Fantasy Christmas! The perfect occasion for midnight Orc attacks. Wait, we mean Trollocs. Other topics of discussion in this episode include: alternate titles, the WoT adoption process, and Chosen One red flags. Transcript

Just two hyper-critical English majors talking some pretty big game about The Wheel of Time. We make jokes, ignore the pronunciation guide, make jokes ABOUT the pronunciation guide, and generally hate Rand. Welcome. Transcript