Difficult Happens; Effective Communication For Bosses

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”  -- Brené Brown   Opening our true selves and exposing our thoughts, dreams, and shames can be a frightening experience. Trading our comfort for courage and opening ourselves up to public judgement often leads us to a Vulnerability Hangover. The Vulnerability Hangover was coined by Brene Brown to describe the feelings that wash over us after sharing publicly and stem from shame and vulnerability. We subconsciously and continually seek out acceptance, reverting to our primal selves where group survival was critical. That's why showing our vulnerable, true selves can be so frightening. In my TED-style talk with Speaking Your Brand's Thought Leadership Summit, Echos of a free-range childhood, I shared a vulnerable story about a traumatic time in my life and how I reclaimed my power, afterwards, emotions washed over me and led to a Vulnerability Hangover. Here’s how I worked through it, and how

Have you ever been scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and see those little affirmation posts? What’s your first reaction? Have you tried them and found that they don't really work for you?  You're not alone. Affirmations for self-care, love affirmations, black women empowerment affirmations, etc., are some of the most popular "affirmation for" searches on Google.  Why don't you see affirmations for dysfunctional people? Dysfunctional affirmations are for those whose first reaction to seeing motivational quotes is to roll their eyes (figuratively or literally) more often than not, it’s because you were raised in dysfunction.  This is where pillar four of the Empowerment Pillar Model comes in; Refresh.  Refresh your body, mind, and sense of self. Anyone who has experienced some ‘ish, dealt with a manipulator or breathed air, needs time to repair because your body keeps the score of every emotion you feel. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What are affirmations What refresh means Self-care Toxic positiv

“Boundaries are a part of self-care. They are healthy, normal, and necessary.” -- Doreen Virtue   Do you ever feel like you’re being taken advantage of? A coworker, boss, or even a friend asks more and more of you. It could be anything from your time, work product, or even your attention that they seek and when you tell them no, they keep pushing. You don’t really want to, but you feel pressured, and you say yes anyway because you don’t want to be rude.         This is a classic manipulation technique where manipulators will slowly chip away at your boundaries overtime to get the attention they need from you.  This is where the third step of my Pillar of Empowerment framework comes in; Restore.   What you’ll hear on today’s episode: The Empowered Pillar Model What boundaries are The four main types of boundaries The four different boundary levels Micro-boundaries Signs of weak boundaries How guilt plays into boundary breaches Emotional vampires   Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens

“Our authentic power is found in our truth. This is the place that shows us how to give what is so very good about ourselves.” -- Jeanne McElvaney   Now that you can recognize dysfunctional situations and manipulation tactics, What do you do? Well, now you work on reclaiming your power! Out of each of the Four Pillars of Empowerment, reclaiming is probably the most difficult one for people to do. Reclaiming your power, your internal self, space, and your own narrative takes time, and (that often overused word) Intention. Reclaiming comes from practice and learning what works for you!   What you’ll hear on today’s episode: The Four Pillars of Empowerment What reclaiming your power means. Story: Sally and Juliette Conflict Personality Types "Shiney" talk. Women Helping Women Fund Tri-Cities.   Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”   Work with Lara: Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation   Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.co

“Blame is a clever trickster. At its root, blame is a form of fear that helps us avoid accountability for our lives.”  -- Debbie Ford Can’t help but wonder why someone refuses to accept doing something wrong, even something small?  When blaming a person or system, your assigning responsibility for a fault or a wrong. However, feelings of fear or embarrassment can cause someone to go on the defensive and try to blameshift. It takes personal growth and development to determine why people act and react the way they do. It takes some guessing and is not always black and white.  Difficult Situations can arise with different people in different situations and it can be hard to figure out what scenario you are in and what approach you should take. The Squad is there to help you navigate these situations. The Squad Membership works off the four empowered pillars of recognize, reclaim, restore, and refresh. We act and react in a way for a reason, that is why it is so important to understand why someone is going on the

“With a new day comes new strength and new thoughts.”  -- Eleanor Roosevelt  Guess what?!  This is a very special episode of Difficult Happens because I am celebrating The 3 YEAR Anniversary since starting the podcast! With your support, we have made it to over 100 thousand downloads. In the beginning, I jumped in with both feet trying to give everything in the first year to help people reclaim their own power and self-esteem.   It is exciting to see more people becoming more aware of what dysfunctional discourse looks like.  What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What I learned What I did wrong What I did right How I started in Season 1 Coming into my own in Season 2 Discussing the Four Empowered Pillars in Season 3 Where the podcast is going from here Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Work with Lara:   Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens

Ever wonder how you can become more productive? You schedule your tasks every day and try to balance your time but fall short of your goals.  There are three things that entrepreneurs know to help be more productive from understanding cycles to the impact of task-shifting. Entrepreneurs are a unique type of leader, they have learned when to shift between roles and the ways that they can be more productive in their work without sacrificing their mental health. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: The difference between leadership and management The myth of balance Task shifting versus batching Being more productive Speaking Your Brand Event What Entrepreneurs aren’t the greatest at  Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”   Work with Lara:   Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/    Resources: Seri

Have you ever had a client flip from a Dr. Jekyll to a Mr. Hyde? Everything was going along fine and then suddenly their behavior started to change to evasive or defensive. In most cases, they’re experiencing a triggered reaction. But what caused it? Was it something you said or did? Is something else going on? Are you triggered? These triggers and conflicts can lead to feelings of increased stress, tension, and anxiety. (you know your body keeps the score.) If you are an entrepreneur, manager, leader or business owner it has become increasingly more important to be able to pick up on subtle cues and understand why people act, and react, the way they do. When you can understand where people's behavior is coming from you can respond to what is triggering their response, and maybe just turn that client back into the good doctor. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: The base of a triggered reaction The conflict loop The animal brain The 4 types of non-trauma based triggered reactions The content trigger Persona

Sometimes we don’t get a choice on whether or not to be a leader. When you run a small business, you will frequently be put into the leadership role where, inevitably, you will have to deal with difficult situations and personalities. Do you have the right support you need to deal with it effectively? The support needed can range from general business support to peer support, and personal support to professional support. From running your own business to leading a team (or existing on the planet! For that matter) you will encounter a variety of personalities in a variety of emotional states, how you navigate these interactions can determine your success. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is Emotional Intelligence Who a leader is (and isn’t) What it takes to be a leader What a heightened emotional state is Different types of support Personal development Challenges that women face The importance of having a squad The Difficult Happens Squad Membership Triggered “Seasons” Join the Squad! A 'whole-human

What red flags have you missed? When starting out, you can be caught up in the excitement of the job or dynamic and excuse behaviors while in the moment. A little thing here, a little thing there, it is easy to miss all these little signs. But hindsight is 20/20 and eventually, you’ll see the writing on the wall. Now it is becoming more important to recognize dysfunctional and toxic behaviors in the workplace.  Jenn Trepeck of “A Salad With A Side Of Fries” joins us to talk about her previous experience working in an environment that turned toxic over time and what red flags you should watch out for. Jenn has worked at ad agencies, in-house with clients on brand management, and spent 12 years in the world of finance while growing her own business. Now Jenn is a Health and Wellness Coach and Entrepreneur. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What Toxic Environments Are Falling into Toxic Environments How Past and Personal Dysfunction can excuse current behavior Scarcity and Urgency The Push of Loyalty Respon

Why would anyone work in a toxic environment?  A toxic workplace doesn’t crop up out of anywhere, it is created, moment by moment and action by action. Every day there are news stories about bosses and bad behavior and environments that became unbearable. Have you ever wondered how these environments became so toxic and why people stay?  As it turns out, it is a slippery slope. Some fields and environments can become stressful over time and others are inherently stressful fields.  When you or your client base is in a heightened emotional state, certain patterns and habits can emerge, showing signs of current or future toxic traits.  In today’s episode 10 toxic red flags to watch out for.  What you’ll hear: What manipulation looks like How toxicity grows What personal development has to do with it What is self-esteem How to grow self-esteem Micro-boundary breaches The impact of boundaries What every toxic workplace has in common Behaviors and Habits that can turn into toxic behaviors Relationships and Communi

Manipulative toxic behavior is on the rise. There are studies, books, blogs, and podcasts full of information about this trend. But without this one thing, all the information and skills you consume won’t work. Business owners know it, leaders know it, and successful people display it. On today’s episode, what you need to effectively combat manipulation. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What manipulation looks like How toxicity grows What personal development has to do with it What is self-esteem How to frow self-esteem Micro-boundary breaches The strength of boundaries What every toxic workplace has in common Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Join the squad: Inner Circle Squad Membership Work with Lara: Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie Difficulthappens.com/workwithme/  Resources: Series on Manipulation Series on As

To be an impactful leader you need more than just good management techniques, you need good people skills. Being aware of what motivates, encourages, fosters, and grows a productive team is something that is learned in the trenches of interaction - where leaders are born. Being a young leader comes with its own set of struggles, on today’s episode Shelby Moore, a 26-year-old leader in a stressful nonprofit who runs a team of over 40 joins me to talk about breaking stereotypes, proving herself, and building a productive team through transitions. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Non-profit culture Young leadership Building consensus Succession planning Growing teams in stressful fields Firing employees Hiring staff How to respond to “I have boots older than you” Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Work with Lara:  Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Diffic

If you put two people in a room and there will be 4 different points of view. Like the old adage goes 'the definition of a dysfunctional family is more than one person". Similarly, when you work with a team of people the dynamics are a lot like that of a family. Like a family, individuals can fall into patterns of behavior that impact the whole team.  When you are the boss, the leader of the team, you set the tone, and by their actions or inactions, the patterns and habits that each member follows. You can set your business up for success and create happy productive teams by knowing 3 things about your employees, tune in and find out what those three things are. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is systems theory Small team dynamics Small business owners Why conflict-types are unique Button pushers 3 secrets turn into 5 (bonus!) What appreciation has to do with it Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Work with Lara: Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimen

Do you have a practice?  I’m not talking about Spanish, piano, or handwriting practice I’m talking about a routine that you intentionally set up that helps you achieve a specific, measurable goal.  When you have an intentional practice, that you implement in a routine way, it becomes a habit. We are creatures of habit, and if we don’t drive the train on what that habit is, you may find yourself with a not so helpful routine, that becomes a habit you need to break. In today’s episode, we dive into what a practice is, and how you can benefit from creating one. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is a practice How a routine becomes a habit Patterns that humans crave The productivity myth What time of day does a practice work for you When a bad habit creeps into your schedule Tag me on Instagram with your practice Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Work with Lara:  Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Complimentary Breakthrough Consultation Got a Question? Comment? Email

Did you do some re-prioritising last year?  With all of the unexpected ‘unprecedented events’ last year a lot of us have reprioritized the way we work and play.  Many found this past year super productive while others, not so much.  We don’t often think about productivity until we are either feeling overwhelmed, or starting a new year. Productivity and overwhelm are two sides of a coin. Balance is what we seek, predictability but as business owners, leaders and bosses, change is inevitable and remaining flexible while also being productive is the goal Strong boundaries are necessary to avoid falling prey to overwhelm.  In today’s episode, we dive into the best way that you can find balance and create a schedule that works for you while auditing what works, and what doesn’t. The truth about productivity with productivity expert Amber De La Garza. What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Micro-boundary breaches on your time How small steps can make a huge impact 3 steps to better boundaries How your boundaries are

In Ariana Grande’s song Thank You; Next, she runs down some relationships she has had and what she has learned from them, how she has found wisdom and gratitude even in those that did not work out as planned.  Lessons don’t always come in life-changing monolithic events, like a pandemic, or a job change, which are those moments where there was a marked before and after (the event), there is before the pandemic and (hopefully soon), an after.  Most life changing lessons come in small imperceptible shifts that are only visible in hindsight, that gain clarity through reflection. 2020 has had a lot of that dreaded phrase, unprecedented events, join me in the lessons and gratitudes I have uncovered for 2020. Thank you; next... What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Year in review We’ve been through some things When you normalize abnormal behavior Embracing change Intentional reflection Some Gramma tiny’isms How reflection leads to growth The forest through the trees Everything in moderation (including moderation)

Manipulative people have an arsenal of tactics they will use against you. Blame-Shifting is one of the big ones. When it is used by a boss or co-worker, it can create a toxic environment quickly, one that, if the manipulator isn’t stopped, will only get worse. In order to combat the blame-shifters tactic, we will shine the light on the many forms of shifting blame (some, may surprise you) and what you can do about it when they try these tactics on YOU.  What you’ll hear on today’s episode: What is Blame-Shifting The Manipulative tactics in action How a victim might be shifting the blame on you Why minimizing you is on the menu How quickly a toxic workplace can be created What you should never do What you should do when blame is shifted onto you Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group”   Work with Lara: Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment Got a Question? Comment? Email Lara@difficulthappens.com Corporate Training Difficult Happens by Lara Currie Dif

Jerky’esque behavior is rampant these days. Shocker (not). Rude, jerky, manipulative behaviors are dysfunctional coping skills learned and practiced over their lifetime and were born from their family of origin. It’s time to take your Happy back! Hold firm to your boundaries and be treated with respect. Today, we dive into how the bad behavior interferes with you, show you the patterns & cycles the manipulator (&jerk) will go through when you stand firm, and what the most important thing you need to know is so that you can tame that jerk, and outwit that manipulator.   What you’ll hear on today’s episode: Why boundaries are so hard to hold How you are impacted The games a Jerk may play The dance manipulators use What is an extinction What is a behavioral burst and what does it look like Free at last Hold yourself accountable, and hold yourself in Grace Join the Difficult Happens Facebook group  “Community Happens Group” Work with Lara: Apply for an On-air Coaching Call! Free Breakthrough Assessment

Summary: When a manipulator starts spinning their tale it can feel like you are being tossed in a word salad!   One thing that all manipulators have in common is that they use words to obfuscate, influence and control, also known as ‘Magical Speaking’.  Have you heard the tapes between Amber Heard and Johnny Depp?  One thing these tapes make clear, aside from their dysfunctional relationship, is that magical speaking was used relentlessly to control the narrative and to dictate what was “really going on.”   It is words, language, that is used to Gaslight. (A form of psychological manipulation in which a person covertly sows seeds of doubt, making you question your own memory, perception, or judgment.)    There are some classic tricks used in Magical Speaking that you should be on the lookout for, in this episode, we dive into those red-flag phrases and what you can do to protect yourself.   Bad behavior is on the rise, arm yourself with the tools you need to protect yourself against manipulative behavior.